Once more tis that saccharine day of the year
That sets singletons glugging down gin, wine and beer.
A consumer frenzy for teddies and chocs,
And velveteen roses and novelty socks.
Whilst some of you slip on your best neglige,
You'll hear others cry "screw this crap holiday!"
They'll view cosy couples with sneers of distain,
Rolling their eyes while love sips its champagne.
If your once sweet lover morphed into a swine
Drop in and visit Ms. Voodoo Valentine.
Tell her your troubles of love that you lost,
She'll settle your scores at a reasonable cost.
For lies she'll prescribe a pin straight to the tongue -
This induces swelling and lisping is fun!
Escapades with the maids call for pins to the... well
Let's just say they'll be stuck with a horrible smell.
Whatever your gripe she'll get straight to the point,
But once she is done you'd best scarper the joint.
For if your eyes meet and her heart's set ablaze,
Twill be pins in your heart till the end of your days...
Photography: Donatella Parisini
Makeup/Voodoo Dolls/Border Graphics: Elvis Schmoulianoff